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Limericks in Physics for You

One of the many novel and ground-breaking features of Physics for You when it was first published (in 1978) was the use of humour in cartoons, jokes, rhymes and limericks.

Here is a selection of Keith Johnson’s limericks, designed to illustrate a Physics concept in a humorous way.

Basic Ideas
Units In Maths and in Physics a ‘k’ Means a thousand of whatever you say. For grams and for metres, And even, for teachers, The size of their annual pay.	Molecules A rather small student called Brown Was asked why he danced up and down, He said “Look you fools, It’s the air molecules, They constantly knock me around.”

Thermal energy
Expansion A railway mechanic was sent To lay down some track across Kent, He forgot to design Some gaps in the line, And when it got hot, it went bent.	Convection A rather small boy called Maguire, Sat next to a roaring hot fire. Life is full of surprises : He found hot air rises, And he floated up higher and higher.

Mechanics
Flotation Long ago Archimedes did shout I have found what it is without doubt, The Upthrust or force Is equal, of course, To the weight of the fluid pushed out.	Centre of Gravity There was an old teacher called Grace, Who often fell flat on her face. The reason, you see, Was her C of G, Its place was too high for her base.

Gravity There was a young man who had heard That a person could fly like a bird. To prove it a lie, He jumped from the sky -His grave gives the date it occurred.	Momentum A dashing young footballer, Paul, Scored a goal with a one-kilo ball. But a similar kick To a one-kilo brick Made Paul bawl, and then fall, and then crawl.

Light
Reflection A tattooist once wrote on my throat A short but mysterious note. And so, to inspect it, I tried to reflect it And found I’d got TAORHT on my throat !	Reflection A periscope builder called Fred Fixed two mirrors to the head of his bed. The light was reflected, And so he inspected The hair on the top of his head.

Convex mirrors A hairy young student called Raven Used a diverging mirror for shaving. His imaged was diminished, And when he had finished, His shaving looked more like engraving !	Short sight A short-sighted teacher called Rose, Confused the optician she chose, And so in her specs, Each lens was convex, And her far point was the end of her nose.

Electricity
Wiring A young electrician called Hyde, Learned nothing because of his pride. He got his wires wrong, And before very long He cried – then he sighed – then he died !	Fuses A careless young student called Hughes, Once fitted the wrong kind of fuse. This fault caused a wire In his house to catch fire, – His death made the 6 o’clock news !

Motors A designer of lifts, L. E. Vator, Built a motor with no commutator. It turned, with a wheeze, Through just 90 degrees, And trapped between floors its creator.	Transformers A Grid engineer called Sid, Thought he’d change what he usually did. He very soon found, With transformers changed round, That he melted the National Grid.

Radioactivity	Sound
Radioactive decay By mistake (in his lunch) Freddy Furze, Ate radium and died with a curse, But the point about Fred, Is that now he is dead, His half-life is sixteen hundred years !	Resonance A short-sighted singer called Groat, Could do wonderful things with her throat. At her specs she aimed sound, And with resonance found That they cracked when she sang the right note.